By Margaret Dembinski, Modern Mystery School Guide, Healer, and Teacher
Most single and searching people today express frustration about the current state of the “mating marketplace” or the dating scene. The rise of dating apps and the acceptance of casual relationships and situationships may seem to be less stressful than old-fashioned way of courtship - getting paired up or matched up and then getting married. The modern way, however, seems to be creating lots of stress and problems for both men and women. I hear complaints both from friends and see lots of frustration online. For example, there is the growing movement of “men going their own way” and also many women struggle to find a suitable mate.
If you are on the dating scene, you may be surprised to find out that, from a spiritual perspective, you have already found the perfect partner! Sorry, this is not your “Twin Flame” of the Twin Flames Universe infamy. It would be against the law of the universe to assume that any one other person could be your be-all-end-all in this life who is meant to be with you even if they don’t agree. This would be taking away their choice and that is against the laws of the universe.
Your perfect partner is YOU as a divine being! You, along with your trusty team of angels and other benevolent beings, your Higher Self (your best friend on this physical journey), and your toolbox of self-discovery including rituals, prayer, and meditation.
YOU are the one who can meet all your needs, fill your life with joy, fulfillment, and pleasure, and you are totally aligned everything that you truly want to create in your physical life!
Oftentimes, we don’t act like our perfect partner, and we fill our own life with stress, endless bummers and misery instead of the fun, joy, and sexiness we all want from an ideal romantic partner. This is typically due to the abusive relationship we have with our negative ego, who is NOT US, but we think is us. This greedy companion hogs 90% of our conscious brain until we actively work on decreasing it. Studying Kabbalah and progressing along the Path of Initiation are all excellent ways to lessen the negative ego’s stranglehold in our life. Like any abusive relationship, this one is tough to end and even though it hurts us, we are hooked in so many ways that we typically go back for more, even as high initiates! Luckily, in the Modern Mystery School we have countless tools to jailbreak from this meanie and move in with our true divine spiritual partner - our true divine self.
Now, this is all wonderful, and you simply don’t have to worry anymore about finding your perfect partner because he or she is already with you. But what about the juicy stuff? The next level of interacting with another person is typically the goal in a romantic relationship and is necessary to create amazing life experiences like intimacy, marriage, and children if that is something you would like to create. If we take current trending dating advice, we might evaluate a person we go on a date with with a mental checklist and discard them quickly if they don’t match or they push the wrong buttons for us.
We can, however, beat the game with our new empowered state and perspective as Initiates.
First, in the Modern Mystery School we teach that all humans are God and divine beings. So, if you are currently in a relationship or marriage, it can always help the relationship to acknowledge and LIVE the reality that the other person is a God/Goddess and is worthy of the gratitude, awe, and respect you would show any divine being. In some cases, that could mean letting them go so that they can live according to their own choice and you, yours. Each person you might go on a date with is a God/Goddess, even if the encounter is a casual one!
When you embrace the divine essence of each person you meet, any person could potentially be your divine mate. What matters then are practical things such as if you enjoy each other and have aligned goals and lifestyles. This is very important! We may love a certain person but if they don’t want what we want in life, it would be overstepping their individual will to try to force them to go along with our way of life. It’s important to have aligned goals, otherwise the commitment won’t last.
Second, we can also use our tools of sanctuary meditation and our spiritual consulting team of guides and benevolent beings to give us feedback about a certain person or date, especially if we have some special feeling about them. When I first met my husband, I did not in my wildest dreams think we would end up together. He did not fit any of my mental constructs of what a partner would look like.Fortunately, at that very moment, my mental boxes had been exploded by a recent workshop my spiritual tools had guided me to attend. My progress in the Mystery School had helped me break my mental boxes and I was open to a new experience!
What I found in my future husband was an interesting person, who became progressively more and more interesting. During our first date, we had a number of incidences or “signs” that marked it as unique. When I first saw him on this date, expecting to just have coffee with an interesting person, his eyes were lit up like a light bulb and he looked very attractive. We also waded in a brook we both love and then ran into a celebrity, and he was reading my mind in a very strange way throughout the date. I had a great time and was intrigued and curious, and he was very upfront about his interest in me. I saw he had mutual friends on Facebook, asked them about him, and then also meditated with my Higher Self who confirmed this was an important person in my life. He was like a big sun in my sanctuary. I had many mental boxes I continued to break open throughout our courtship.
Now we have been married 2 years, still really enjoy each other’s company, and have a beautiful baby boy and family. It’s definitely not perfect (I am not perfect, he is not perfect!) but we both want to grow and progress, and we have other similar goals. Sharing this with you, I’m not recommending you imitate me at all, but I am recommending that you utilize the tools from the Modern Mystery School to break open your ideas about who and where your partner might be. Because an intimate partner is part of most people’s core desires and a huge part of our lives, it can help to realize that regarding this intimate and close of a relationship, our mental boxes might be particularly hard to break through.
Maybe you could try something more old-fashioned. Maybe the person who intrigued you but you wrote off because they pushed your buttons is worthy of a second chance. Maybe your ideal partner is waiting for you to ask them out and not vice-versa! Almost everyone wants a partner in life, and it is a huge source of joy when it goes well. With 8 billion people in the world, I have faith that you can find someone you will enjoy, and will align with your goals in life. I just observe that people need to break down their mental and emotional boxes sometimes in order to make it work.
Even though you have access to the best spiritual tools in the world, do not let go of common sense and wisdom in searching for a partner. We live in a physical world and we have to be honest and practical and take care of our safety. Always use discernment. For one practical example, if you are waiting to get to a certain level or mastery of the physical or spiritual world before finding your ideal mate, and you also want to have children, you may have to let go of your ideas of what this mastery would look like in order to accomplish what you want within a certain timeline as time is important for this particular goal.
In another situation, if you are waiting to meet someone who is “as evolved” as you feel you are, you may pass up an amazing relationship. Each person is God so it would be arrogant to assume you are more evolved than another God, and there is not only one way to progress in life and on the path especially if being with another Initiate is important to you. I would also highly recommend taking Sovereign Ipsissimus Dave’s classes about Living a Hermetic Life, The Hermetic Communication between Masculine and Feminine, the Hermetic Relationship class, all of which are filled with lots more powerful information about what both men and women are looking for in love, and how to hermetically optimize your life, dating and marriage life. You can’t go wrong with that knowledge. Have fun out there!